I gave (three weeks) notice at my job last Friday. I do not have another job lined up, nor do I know what I want next. It feels like the right decision, but since then, I’ve been waffling almost non-stop, from recurring moments of self-doubt — “What am I DOING?! The economy is terrible, bla bla bla,” to “Everything will be fine, now move along.” Here is a short list of fears:
1. How am I going to pay for my life?
Since the last job search, I’ve acquired higher rent and some new financial obligations (oh, hello physical therapy bill). I get nervous quickly when spending without earning, and thus far, I’m having a hard time believing I’m going to make rent off content writing and occasional substitute teaching.
2. Health insurance – I’m working on my options for this. The state of health insurance upsets me anyway (why am I paying so much a month when things like physical therapy still aren’t covered?!), but going without anything seems unwise, especially because I bike everywhere when it’s warm.
3. Making the same mistakes – I’m worried #1 and #2 will be enough to make me take the first job that comes along, and that I’ll stay for months after realizing I’m not happy.
4. Lacking self-discipline – I quit this job because I was frequently angry before I even got to work. I wasn’t angry at work, but at myself for still being there. I’m concerned that now I’ll just look at Facebook 87 times a day instead of doing what I should, which leads to concern #5, which is basically #1 reworded.
5. What do I do? I quit this job and, like I said, I’m not sure for what. I know why I quit, but I don’t know what I’m headed to. I want more than 40 hours a week in an office, two weeks vacation and a nice benefits package. Those things are great (although four weeks would be greater), but… more. I want more. But the list of interests is long, and I’m not sure where to start. Photography? Writing? Health work? Teaching? Social work?
I know these are decisions I have to make for myself, and in lieu of a counselor, I’ll take your comments. Encouragement, suggestions, admonishment – leave it below. Please and thanks.